1. What is the overall state of the relationship at this time?

To this question, I drew the 3 of Swords.

This is probably at least one instance where a picture is truly worth a thousand words. The card depicts a single heart driven through by three swords. Above the heart itself are storm clouds, with rain descending. From the image alone, we get a sense of emotional distress and potential heartbreak. One author on Tarot suggests themes of “finding your trust misplaced,” “being spurned or rejected,” and “receiving little solace.” In particular, the suit of Swords in the Tarot is associated with those things that challenge us on a mental and communicative level, so to me, the card conveys a good degree of mental distress from the situation, in addition to any emotional component involved.

2. What major benefit does Randy derive from this relationship?

To this question, I drew the card of Judgement.

This is a card that perhaps requires a little explanation. Pictured on the card is an angel, who is blowing a trumpet to summon the dead from their graves. Biblically speaking, it’s a picture of “The Last Judgement,” where some are saved, and some are lost.

In the Tarot, the meaning of the card is a bit more metaphorical than the picture might imply. The appearance of Judgement here represents anything that serves as a “wake up call” for us – anything that calls us to a new way of life, or that awakens us from an otherwise-slumbering state. One author suggests its meaning as “the summons to a new life.” Implied in the card are the ideas of re-birth, of any kind of spiritual or emotional “resurrection.” It represents making a fresh start, personal transformation, and awakening to possibilities.

Given the context of my specific question, it seems that the relationship itself presented you with a whole new way of living, being and relating. It “awakened” possibilities and potentialities for you which may have not been previously present. All of which may have seemed inspirational at one time, and could still prod you to try and hold on to what you had.

3. What, for Randy, is a major component that is lacking in this relationship?

To this question, I drew the 5 of Wands.

In the 5 of Wands, the figures on this card are clearly at cross-purposes with each other. Whatever else is going on beneath the surface, there is, as one author suggests, “no cohesion, consensus or unifying force.” Cooperation, agreement and coordinated effort are lacking. And whether or not there is actual “battling” going on, it seems that instead of camaraderie, there is competition - or perhaps a deadlocked situation where each person is only held at arm’s length, but no one truly gains any ground.

4. What stance, action or attitude can Randy adopt to potentially strengthen what, for him, is lacking in the relationship?

To this question, I drew the card of The Tower.

Here’s another card that’s pretty descriptive by its picture alone. The card of The Tower is associated with sudden and drastic change, and with the unexpected upheavals we encounter that shake us to the core. In respect to my question, I think this card presents two potential answers. The first, while not providing specific advice, suggests that whatever course you might choose to take, it would take a great deal of concerted effort to alter the existing state of the relationship. The Tower suggests that such change would not come easily, and that it would be “unsettling” for all concerned. In this context, one Tarot author says, “every pretense, disguise, and empty ideal, every foundation built on illusion, must be incinerated, brought to rubble, before…renovation can begin.”

The other possible interpretation, I believe, is that the card does provide you with a very specific answer: That at this time, at least, the situation is beyond your control, with at least some suggestion that the “foundations” have already been struck by lightning, and perhaps beyond repair – at least for now. Another author offers a slightly different perspective, when she says, “In fact, you may feel tremendous release that you have finally been forced in a new direction.” (This could also mirror some of the themes of the Judgement card, in a present-tense sort of way.)

5. What is the most empowering action that Randy can take for the sake of his own health and wholeness?

To this question, I drew the 9 of Coins.

Here’s another card that may require a bit of explanation. On this card, we see a picture of a woman, whose demeanor appears calm, serene, and contented, strolling through her vineyard or garden. It seems that she is surveying the fruits of her labors, and taking pleasure in them.

She is alone, without any other companions, and her garden is gated in such a way as to allow in only those whom she deems fit.

One of the primary ideas behind the 9 of Coins is self-sufficiency. It’s meant to convey a sense of someone who has come into their own, who is comfortable in their own skin, and who doesn’t necessarily equate being “alone” with being “lonely.” In fact, some of the suggested meanings for this card include, “handling the situation alone,” “acting on your own,” “doing it all by yourself,” and “falling back on your own resources.” This isn’t meant to be an egocentric stance, but perhaps, after the awakening of Judgement and the foundation-shaking of The Tower, you have a better sense of where you stand, what you’re comfortable with, and what you’ll allow into your “garden.” And if so, then you may have “come home to yourself” as never before.

6. What does the relationship itself ask Randy to consider?

To this question, I drew the 9 of Swords.

This question may seem a bit unusual, so I’d like to elaborate on it just a bit.

In asking this question, I wanted to consider the relationship itself – the unit of the two people – as if it were its own separate entity, which might have something to say about itself to us, whether favorable or not.

In drawing the 9 of Swords, we mirror somewhat the theme of the 3 of Swords which we saw earlier. And the theme seems to be “more of the same.” With the 9 of Swords, we’re not only emotionally bothered, we’re actually losing sleep about it.

In other words, the relationship seems to suggest that, were you to return to it, you could likely expect "more of the same," and possibly intensified.

Final Thoughts...

I’d like to add one other item, which I feel is notable. In the Tarot, a section of the deck is divided into four “suits,” (the same way that playing cards are divided into Clubs, Spades, Diamonds and Hearts). In the Tarot, those suits are called Wands, Swords, Coins, and Cups. You’ve seen three of these suits (Wands, Coins and Swords) in your cards, but there was an absence of Cups. Cups are the Tarot suit that is most strongly associated with love and relationships, and in your spread, they are conspicuously absent – suggesting, simply by their absence, a portion of what may have been missing in the relationship. (See, for example, the sample card of the 2 of Cups, which signifies a type of union – romantic or otherwise – between two people.)

Even so, remember that a Tarot reading tends to reflect situations as they exist presently. Nothing is written in stone to the effect that it could not be changed, nor is any apparent deficiency so great that it could not potentially be overcome. But, perhaps I’ve given you something worth reflecting on.